The Etymologies of Mathematics
Fake etymologies for statistics, topology, probability, analysis and algebra.
Content note: Mild crude humor ('butt').
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Cartoon by Ben Orlin, Math with Bad Drawings. https://cartoons.mathwithbaddrawings.com/2021-01-01-the-etymologies-of-mathematics/ (CC BY-NC 4.0)Transcript
[Title] "The Etymologies of Mathematics"
statistics: "the persistent habit (tic) of seeking esteem as an expert (status) despite knowing nothing; literally, 'the science of pretend knowledge'" ("I 'unno! Er… we cannot reject H₀.")
topology: "opposite of apology, after ancient geometers who would ruin your things and then insist that the destroyed objects remained unchanged" ("Still a plate!")
probability: "named for ancient sophists who gave answers that sounded affirmative (pro) but on inspection proved to be meaningless babble" ("I'm updating my priors.")
analysis: "from the Greek lysis ('dissolution', 'collapse') and the Latin anal ('butt'): literally, 'the kind of math that will make your butt collapse'"
algebra: "'the mathematics of fools,' from the medieval Arabic al ('the') and gebra ('jabronis')" ("what if x is a how many??")